Part 1!
-Song of the Day!-
I forgot the cover in the first part so her it is now
Mary Anne looks about ten years older than Logan here. He looks nine. Jackie is also clearly in love with him too. Well, since he looks only a few years older than him it's understandable. Also, their outfits make me really miss the 80s.
Chapter 6!
Mary Anne meets Logan at the Rodowskys and says how every time she sees him she creams her panties. Hell, she creams every time someone says his name. I can't relate. She's able to keep it together and asks Logan how much trouble can one kid be. She immediately thinks of Jenny who has never been any more trouble than Karen or Claire. And of course Jackie will prove to be less trouble than your average kid. When Mrs R answers the door, Mary Anne says she doesn't look like most moms because she's wearing jeans. Ann. We need to talk. You do realize mom jeans were at their peak in the 80s, right? You do realize your books take place in the 1980s and not the 1880s? Women weren't dressing like Jackie O to go to the market. I know you grew up when togas were the height of fashion, but try to catch up.
Anyhoo, Mrs R introduces them to Jackie and tells them where she'll be. Once she leaves, Jackie asks them if they want to see his grasshopper, Elizabeth. Mary Anne is like, 'Your male grasshopper is named Elizabeth?' and Jackie is like yup because he's progressive like that. Rather than going upstairs with him, Mary Anne and Logan stay downstairs and make awkward small talk. So, of course they're surprised when they hear a thump from upstairs followed by Jackie wailing. They run upstairs to check on him and find that he tried to do a chin up on the shower rod. They check him over and he's fine but wants some juice. They go to the kitchen and Jackie spills his juice while carrying it to the living room. Logan cleans up the spill no problem and I was gonna complain that no one has nasty ass soda water in their house but I remembered this is the Rodowskys and they probably keep some for cleaning.
After that's taken care of, they all go to Jackie's room and he shows them Elizabeth..and gets his hand stuck in his jar. They try to pull it off but to no avail. Finally Logan gets some margarine and gets him unstuck. By the time Mrs R gets home, Jackie has fallen off his bike, ripped his jeans and made Mary Anne fall into Logan's arms. My cousin has a five year old and that sounds like a normal day to me. Does Ann think kids just put on plays and marching bands and never have accidents? They're kids, not toys. Logan and Mary Anne leave together and talk about the job. Logan compliments Mary Anne by saying she has a pretty smile. And I'm not gonna lie, I find that pretty sweet. Like, I'm not a fan of romance generally but I do enjoy some of it. It might be that I like Mary Anne and enjoy seeing her happy. It's too bad Logan turned into such a douche waffle in later books.
Chapter 7!
Claudia has a sitting job at the Perkins and I will say Gabby calling her Claudee Kishi is kinda cute. Mrs P is in a scurry because their was a leak and Gabby pasted stickers all over her bedroom door. Maybe it's me, but I don't see why a kid shouldn't put stickers on the wall or wherever. Our house is coated in stickers and no one seems to mind. I'd never have a kid but if I did, I'd allow them to express themselves creatively however they pleased. Within reason of course. It's not like Gabby drilled holes in her door. Heck, my cats have done more damage to my doors than that.
Mrs P leaves telling Claudia that Myriah is at the community center and she'll have to pick her up later. Claudia and Gabby play dolls a little bit till it's time to get her. I think about the time my mom got me a Cabbage Patch doll (this was the 80s, you had to have one) and I was just like, 'Gee...thanks' because of my burning hatred for babies. I immediately threw in her my closet next to my My Child doll and went back to playing Barbies. Anyway, Claudia decides to take Chewy along with them and havoc ensues due to Claudia's stupidity. Gabby says she can't see Myriah so Claudia picks her up and drops Chewy's leash. He runs off, grabs Myriah's school bag and runs away.
Claudia and the girls take off after him but ya know, he's a dog, he's fast. He runs into the Newtons yard and nearly tramples Lucy (yeah, if only) and Jamie joins the chase. I thought Jamie was scared of big dogs? I know he was okay with Louie but I remember him being scared of a dog in some book. They run into the Kishis yard and Mimi actually tries to grab his leash because she's a bad ass ninja granny. She misses and Chewy almost runs into Charlotte. Myriah yells to get her bag and Charlotte nabs it but Chewy takes off again. Claudia decides to wait at the Perkins to see if Chewy comes home on his own. Because of this brilliant decision making, Chewy runs away to join the Moscow circus and is never seen again. The End. I mean, he steals cones from a road work crew. Claudia gets Chewy back in the yard and gives the cones back. She says when she tells Mrs P of Chewy's adventure, she's not sure she believes her but why wouldn't she? I'm pretty sure she knows her dog is a rascally little goofball.
Chapter 8!
At the next BSC meeting, K Ron tries to get everyone's attention but they're too busy laughing about Chewy. When she says she'll have to make the decision about Logan on her own they come to attention. She asks Mary Anne how the sitting job went and Mary Anne gives a glowing review. Mm hmm! I see. So! Handling accidents and being level-headed makes you a great candidate for the BSC. But handling accidents and being level-headed means you need to be humiliated with bogus tests and insults. How totally fair! K Ron asks if they should have Logan join the BSC but no one brings up how well he drew the digestive system. They just say it's embarrassing having a boy at meetings. Mrs Rodowsky calls needing a sitter and no one can cover it. Mary Anne asks why Logan can't and K Ron says he's not a member yet and she clearly can't let the Rodowskys have the number of an unofficiated sitter! All sitting jobs belong to the BSC! Doesn't Mrs R know that?!
Mary Anne, showing better leadership material than K Ron, says she's not baby-sitting that day, she just has to go to a dinner with her dad and some of his clients. Since that's super boring, she's sure he'll let her got to the Rodowskys if she explains the situation. She tells K Ron to call the Rodowskys and tell them either she or Logan will be sitting. K Ron's not happy about it because when is she ever happy about not getting her way, but okays it. Once that's taken care of, she asks again, what should they do about Logan? Mary Anne points out that the meeting with him there was super embarrassing and maybe he doesn't even want to join. They say they should call him and all look to Mary Anne. She's like, fine, I'll do it but I'm gonna call him in private.
When she gets home, Mary Anne says she only has a small window to call Logan before her dad gets home. She calls him up and asks Mrs Bruno for Logan. She tells him that they just had a meeting and he says he's decided not to join the BSC. Mary Anne quietly panics wondering why he decided not to. She thinks about the good time they had at the Rodowskys and him telling her she had a pretty smile. Uh, Mary Anne? That part has nothing to do with joining the club. He didn't say, 'Your smile is so pretty it makes me forget all about being the only person with a penis in a room full of girls!' Your pretty smile didn't make the meeting any less embarrassing. She forgets all about that when he asks her to the Remember September dance. A dance for September.
Actual photo of my face after reading that
So, it's about a week into the school year and they're already having a dance. What kind of budget does this school have that they can waste their money on a dance a month and yet serve the nastiest food this side of 'Kitchen Nightmares'? Well, Mary Anne ain't bothered by the fact that SMS could have used that money for a tutor for Claudia that'll teach her to spell above a concussed Shetland pony's level and says of course she'll go. She's thrilled of course even though she doesn't know how to dance and has social anxiety but still wonders why Logan doesn't want to join the BSC.
Chapter 9!
Stacey has a sitting job for Charlotte and Char is super bouncy. Stacey says how different she is from when she first started sitting her and that skipping a grade was the best thing for her. She says she brought 'Tik Tok of Oz' in her kid kit and I think about how much I loved Tik Tok in 'Return to Oz'. I never know why it always ends up on 'Scariest Kids Movies' list because I was enamored with that movie as a kid. I think it's amazing. But I was allowed to watch legit horror films as a kid so I was a bit desensitized. Wheelers aren't as scary as an alien that can take anyone's shape and bite off your arms when you try to defibrillate them.
Once Dr J leaves, Charlotte looks through the kid kit and finds 'Happy Birthday to You' by Dr Seuss. Stacey reads it to her and Charlotte says she can't wait for her birthday. Stacey tells Char that Mary Anne will be turning 13 soon and Char says they should throw her a surprise party. Stacey actually remembers Mary Anne's one trait and says she doesn't think she'd like a surprise party. Charlotte suggests they throw a regular party then bring out a cake which is still putting her as the center of attention but Stacey's a dumb blonde and says that sounds like a good idea. We'll just have to wait and see how well this turns out, no?
Chapter 10!
Aw, yeah! Shopping time! This chapter is one of the reasons I love this book. The BSC is off to Bellair's to shop for Mary Anne's first outfit for a dance. Richard even gave her his store card to buy it. He also teared up because he's adorable. When they get to Bellair's everyone has a different opinion on where to go first and of course Stacey suggests they look at the underwear first. Lol! They're not even pretending Stacey's not a total slut! She's really set on it too. Like, 'We know you're gonna get finger blasted, Mary Anne. You might as well wear a lace thong and look hot while doing so'. Mary Anne tries on-'a green sweater dress that made me look like a mermaid, and a yellow sweater dress that made me look as big as a house. Then Claudia handed me a full white skirt with the words Paris, Rome, and London, and sketchy pink and blue pictures of the Eiffel Tower, the Tower Bridge, and other stuff scrawled all over it. She matched it up with a pink shirt and a baggy pink sweater'. And I'll admit, that's a damned cute outfit and I'd still wear it. They go to shoes and find some-'white slip-ons with pink and blue edging'. And of course she doesn't get new underwear because she's not a slut like Stacey.
The day of the dance, K Ron has been replaced by an alien replicant because she says they should cancel the BSC meeting to help Mary Anne prepare for the dance. Hell's bells! Later K Ron wouldn't even let Mary Anne go to the dance! After paying Janine to answer the phone (gee, sure is nice of Janine to do that for a bunch of brats who won't give her the time of day, ain't it?) they troop to Mary Anne's house and help her out like actual friends rather than stoning her for the sin of getting a haircut. Richard drives them all to SMS and Maureen will be picking them up at the end of the dance. Which ends at 9:30 which seems kinda late for a middle school dance. But what do I know? I don't write teenagers as wildly out of character as Ann.
And hey! We get a full paragraph of BSC outfits! 'Claudia was wearing short, tight-fitting black pants and a big white shirt that said BE-BOP all over it in between pictures of rock and roll dancers. She had fixed a floppy blue bow in her hair. Stacey was wearing a white T-shirt under a hot pink jumpsuit. Dawn and Kristy looked more casual. Dawn was wearing a green and white oversized sweater and stretchy green pants. Kristy was wearing a white turtleneck shirt under a pink sweater with jeans'. Hee hee! They're all so 1980s it hurts! I can still picture Claud's shirt perfectly. I'm pretty sure I saw it in the 80s.
Inside the school is a mob scene but Mary Anne spots Logan and goes after him. Logan gives her a smushed orange flower because he's a fool and nothing matches orange. Also according to Google, orange flowers are for grief. Mary Anne pins it to her sweater and it clashes because Logan didn't think to go with something safe like white. Mary Anne can't take time to appreciate the decorations because she's too busy worrying. Lucky for her, Logan doesn't want to dance right away so they drink punch and awkwardly try to keep a conversation going. Finally Logan asks her if she wants to dance and Mary Anne has to agree. At first Mary Anne tries some dance moves Stacey taught her then tries to imitate Logan which is pretty darn cute. He begins to fool around and when she follows his Rockette kick, her shoe goes flying off and nearly kills Mr Kingbridge. She goes to pick it up and some kids are laughing at her and that is super embarrassing. I probably would have died.
After Mary Anne gets her shoe she goes back to her traitor friends who are also laughing at her. She's like 'Fuck all y'all bitches' and peaces out to the bleachers. They leave her alone for a bit then Logan comes to comfort her. He says everyone's forgotten about her shoe so why doesn't she come dance some more? She doesn't want to so he sits with her through three more songs before asking again. She still doesn't want to but tells him to go ahead and dance. Logan dances with the other BSC members but keeps coming back to Mary Anne to check on her. By 9:30 he asks if she'll come down now and she laughs about it. He tells her he had a really good time and Mary Anne hopes there'll be other dance with him. Wait a week Mary Anne, I'm sure SMS will have a 'Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun!' dance.