Chapter 1!

Ann earns my spite right off by having Mary Anne say that the BSC earns 'pretty much money'. Why does she always use that phrase? It's so clunky. Why not 'quite a bit' of money? It sounds like 'What we earn is pretty much money though some people pay Claud in half a kit kat bar or a single skittle'. This book takes place before the time warp and it's the end of summer before 8^th grade. Mary Anne talks about how over the summer each BSC member had a big event. K Ron's mum got married, Mimi had a stroke, Dawn went back to Cali Cali and Stacey treated Mary Anne like shit because she had a boner for Scott. Mary Anne just glosses over that and talks about Alex. She says that she got along with him and learned boys are people too. She also says the exchanged rings which is preeeety serious if you ask me. I still stand by that Mary Anne and Alex totally kissed and she's been keeping it secret.

Mary Anne is just lazing around her room when Dawn comes over so they can walk to the BSC meeting together. Dawn is wearing-'hot-pink shorts with a big, breezy island-print shirt over a white tank top' which is certainly more interesting than anything Hodges ever puts her in. She says her dad sent it to her but why would he do that when she was just in California? On their way to the meeting, Mary Anne checks the mail and squeals about getting an issue of 'Sixteen' magazine. Not Seventeen,'Sixteen'. I don't know if Ann didn't want to shell out for the rights or she thought 17 was too old or she's just dumb. Place your bets! Mary Anne is super excited because there's an article on Cam Geary who is totally adorable! Dawn comments on how much Mary Anne has changed in that she's never shown so much emotion or interest in boys. I totally get how Mary Anne feels. I'm super shy but once I open up to you, I never shut up.

They get to Claudia's house and since this is an early book, they ring the doorbell rather than waltzing right in. They're also not total rude assholes by actually saying hi to Janine. And K Ron isn't the iron fisted dictator she was in the last snark which is a little of a shock to me because I was used to the meetings being super uncomfortable. Mary Anne breaks out her magazine and they start talking about Cam Geary. They think that the girl he's dating can't be 14 because of her huge tracts of land. Me and my C cups at 12 weep. Damn, can you imagine if I was in the BSC? They'd worship me and my boobs. The rest of the chapter is uneventful, with them just setting up jobs and noting how busy they are. Subtle.

Chapter 2!

On the first day of school, Mary Anne walks with Claudia and Stacey. K Ron takes the bus and Dawn takes a different route. Mary Anne names off all her school supplies and I used to love shopping for the new school year. I hated school but I loved school supplies. And this was back in the heyday of Trapper Keeper. My favorites were my horse and foal and my Lisa Frank leopard. I still rue the day of the yard sale where I got rid of a bunch of stuff I was 'too old' for. One of the confusing things is she uses gum to stick things in her locker because tape is verboten. Why not magnets? I never had a locker in middle school outside P.E. But aren't they usually metal? And I would think that the school would be more against nasty chewed gum than tape.

Mary Anne gets to her homeroom and is awkwardly wondering where to sit when Dawn comes in. They take a seat in the back and Mary Anne goes over her class schedule. I wish I could find one of my old middle school schedules because it seems like she has a lot more classes than I did. For one thing, I didn't have homeroom or study hall. But I did have two English classes instead of one. By lunch, Mary Anne is starving and heads to the cafeteria with K Ron. She says they feel like babies bringing lunch but nothing about the fact that Dawn does. She surprised when Stacey and Claudia join them because they usually sit with their other friends. Well, thanks, Ann. I now know when they went from club to cult.

After K Ron does her usual 'school food is nasty' shtick, they start talking about boys. Claudia says she wants a poster of Max Morrison from 'Out of This World' and I wonder if Ann knew that was a real show. It came out before this book and doesn't have anyone named Max Morrison in it. Mary Anne scans the cafeteria and nearly sprays everyone with milk (and I'd say drinking from a milk carton if more babyish than bringing lunch, just sayin') because she spotted Cam Geary! She alerts the rest of the BSC to this amazing discovery and Stacey tells her that's not Cam Geary but Logan Bruno who's in her English class. Mary Anne all but scratches Stacey's eyes out in a jealous fit and thinks Logan is like, the cutest boy evar!

Chapter 3!

On Friday, Mary Anne says everyone barely made it to the BSC meeting as they all had things going on. And in a moment I don't believe in a second, Stacey is vice president of the dance committee. K Ron allowed a non-club related past time? And she didn't pitch a fit that Stacey is vice president which is very close to president and she felt threatened? Okay, Ann. I believe it. *pssst* I don't believe it. Once club business is taken care of, K Ron announces her newest plan, to advertise the club at an upcoming PTA meeting. Dawn suggests they find a way to leave the parents fliers and K Ron says that's a good idea, which Mary Anne comments that's she's usually 'not generous with praise'.

They say that Elizabeth can make some copies at work and do at least say they'll pay for them. Also, because the Jem Jam has me addicted to it, I looked up how much $15 was in '88 and it's about $31. So, that's not so bad. It's more money than I have currently. After that's settled, they start talking about boys again. Mary Anne is like 'No one's as cute as Cam Geary. Except Logan! He's made out of golden rainbows and farts Chanel no. 5 and discovered the cure to that cancer that only affects homeless puppies!' and everyone is like 'Bitch, what?' Luckily the phone saves her and the subject changes to some rando girl at school buying a bra. Why would they know this? Who pays attention to that shit? Oh, Ann who loves boobs. Mary Anne admits she got a bra too and K Ron is shocked. She thought they were members of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee together! I was a D cup by the time I was 13. I would have killed for a flat chest. Boys suck.

Chapter 4!

At school, Claudia calls an emergency meeting at lunch. She tells them that since advertising at the PTA meeting, people have been calling non-stop to schedule jobs. They try to work everything out when a male voice says they've done lots of baby-sitting 'In Luevulle. Ah’ve haid plainy of expuryence'.

Everyone starts batting their eyes and adjusting their bobbies for Logan. K Ron invites him to sit with them and the boys at his table start hooting about how he's gonna be swimming in pussy and the tide is high. He sits next to Mary Anne who is just frozen in place. They tell him about the BSC (a kid kit and a blood oath is a requirement) and he talks about his experience. They agree to have him attend the next BSC meeting which barely gives Mary Anne time to panic.

Chapter 5!

The day of Logan attending the BSC meeting, Mary Anne rushes home to make sure she looks her best. She puts on a vest over a white shirt and hoop earrings which rarely come for non-pierced ears especially in '88. I know because I would have bought some for a faux cartilage piercing because I'm a scaredy cat. She makes it to the BSC meeting to find everyone there and excited. The doorbell rings and Claudia goes to answer it. While she's gone, Mary Anne does a quick scan of her room to make sure it's acceptable to male eyes. She spots Claudia's rag doll and stuffs it under the bed. Damn, my room is full of dolls and plushies. Good thing it's strictly 'No boys allowed'.

Logan comes in and takes a seat on the floor next to Mary Anne. And even though she planned this, she's still unable to talk to him. Why do you want to be close to him if you're just gonna make a fool of yourself? They take a few jobs to show him how the club is run (5:35 kiss K Ron's feet while chanting 'The leader is good! The leader is great! We surrender our will as of this date!') and Claudia tries to tell a story about Pete snapping a girl's bra strap but realizes she almost said bra in front of a boy. Logan tries to cover it up by offering Mary Anne some popcorn and she spills it. Everyone scrambles around and Claudia asks what his worst sitting experience was. He starts to tell about potty training a little boy but them realizes he can't finish the story because it's rated M for mature. So, Logan whipped out his dick in front of a kid and taught him to piss. Classy.

K Ron is embarrassed enough to not reprimand Claudia for suggesting she and Logan go get drinks. K Ron allowing a member to leave a meeting for a snack without breaking out the captain's daughter? This is an early book! While they're gone everyone bemoans how embarrassing it all is and wonder how they can hold meetings with Logan around. Mary Anne thinks she wants Logan to join but doesn't know how they'll handle meetings. Claudia and Logan come back with the drinks and they get a call from a new client, the Rodowskys. She sets up a trail job for Logan and Mary Anne is the only one available to co-sit. Let's see how different this goes from Mallory's trail job.

I forgot the cover in the first part so her it is now


Mary Anne looks about ten years older than Logan here. He looks nine. Jackie is also clearly in love with him too. Well, since he looks only a few years older than him it's understandable. Also, their outfits make me really miss the 80s.

Chapter 6!

Mary Anne meets Logan at the Rodowskys and says how every time she sees him she creams her panties. Hell, she creams every time someone says his name. I can't relate. She's able to keep it together and asks Logan how much trouble can one kid be. She immediately thinks of Jenny who has never been any more trouble than Karen or Claire. And of course Jackie will prove to be less trouble than your average kid. When Mrs R answers the door, Mary Anne says she doesn't look like most moms because she's wearing jeans. Ann. We need to talk. You do realize mom jeans were at their peak in the 80s, right? You do realize your books take place in the 1980s and not the 1880s? Women weren't dressing like Jackie O to go to the market. I know you grew up when togas were the height of fashion, but try to catch up.

Anyhoo, Mrs R introduces them to Jackie and tells them where she'll be. Once she leaves, Jackie asks them if they want to see his grasshopper, Elizabeth. Mary Anne is like, 'Your male grasshopper is named Elizabeth?' and Jackie is like yup because he's progressive like that. Rather than going upstairs with him, Mary Anne and Logan stay downstairs and make awkward small talk. So, of course they're surprised when they hear a thump from upstairs followed by Jackie wailing. They run upstairs to check on him and find that he tried to do a chin up on the shower rod. They check him over and he's fine but wants some juice. They go to the kitchen and Jackie spills his juice while carrying it to the living room. Logan cleans up the spill no problem and I was gonna complain that no one has nasty ass soda water in their house but I remembered this is the Rodowskys and they probably keep some for cleaning.

After that's taken care of, they all go to Jackie's room and he shows them Elizabeth..and gets his hand stuck in his jar. They try to pull it off but to no avail. Finally Logan gets some margarine and gets him unstuck. By the time Mrs R gets home, Jackie has fallen off his bike, ripped his jeans and made Mary Anne fall into Logan's arms. My cousin has a five year old and that sounds like a normal day to me. Does Ann think kids just put on plays and marching bands and never have accidents? They're kids, not toys. Logan and Mary Anne leave together and talk about the job. Logan compliments Mary Anne by saying she has a pretty smile. And I'm not gonna lie, I find that pretty sweet. Like, I'm not a fan of romance generally but I do enjoy some of it. It might be that I like Mary Anne and enjoy seeing her happy. It's too bad Logan turned into such a douche waffle in later books.

Chapter 7!

Claudia has a sitting job at the Perkins and I will say Gabby calling her Claudee Kishi is kinda cute. Mrs P is in a scurry because their was a leak and Gabby pasted stickers all over her bedroom door. Maybe it's me, but I don't see why a kid shouldn't put stickers on the wall or wherever. Our house is coated in stickers and no one seems to mind. I'd never have a kid but if I did, I'd allow them to express themselves creatively however they pleased. Within reason of course. It's not like Gabby drilled holes in her door. Heck, my cats have done more damage to my doors than that.

Mrs P leaves telling Claudia that Myriah is at the community center and she'll have to pick her up later. Claudia and Gabby play dolls a little bit till it's time to get her. I think about the time my mom got me a Cabbage Patch doll (this was the 80s, you had to have one) and I was just like, 'Gee...thanks' because of my burning hatred for babies. I immediately threw in her my closet next to my My Child doll and went back to playing Barbies. Anyway, Claudia decides to take Chewy along with them and havoc ensues due to Claudia's stupidity. Gabby says she can't see Myriah so Claudia picks her up and drops Chewy's leash. He runs off, grabs Myriah's school bag and runs away.

Claudia and the girls take off after him but ya know, he's a dog, he's fast. He runs into the Newtons yard and nearly tramples Lucy (yeah, if only) and Jamie joins the chase. I thought Jamie was scared of big dogs? I know he was okay with Louie but I remember him being scared of a dog in some book. They run into the Kishis yard and Mimi actually tries to grab his leash because she's a bad ass ninja granny. She misses and Chewy almost runs into Charlotte. Myriah yells to get her bag and Charlotte nabs it but Chewy takes off again. Claudia decides to wait at the Perkins to see if Chewy comes home on his own. Because of this brilliant decision making, Chewy runs away to join the Moscow circus and is never seen again. The End. I mean, he steals cones from a road work crew. Claudia gets Chewy back in the yard and gives the cones back. She says when she tells Mrs P of Chewy's adventure, she's not sure she believes her but why wouldn't she? I'm pretty sure she knows her dog is a rascally little goofball.

Chapter 8!

At the next BSC meeting, K Ron tries to get everyone's attention but they're too busy laughing about Chewy. When she says she'll have to make the decision about Logan on her own they come to attention. She asks Mary Anne how the sitting job went and Mary Anne gives a glowing review. Mm hmm! I see. So! Handling accidents and being level-headed makes you a great candidate for the BSC. But handling accidents and being level-headed means you need to be humiliated with bogus tests and insults. How totally fair! K Ron asks if they should have Logan join the BSC but no one brings up how well he drew the digestive system. They just say it's embarrassing having a boy at meetings. Mrs Rodowsky calls needing a sitter and no one can cover it. Mary Anne asks why Logan can't and K Ron says he's not a member yet and she clearly can't let the Rodowskys have the number of an unofficiated sitter! All sitting jobs belong to the BSC! Doesn't Mrs R know that?!

Mary Anne, showing better leadership material than K Ron, says she's not baby-sitting that day, she just has to go to a dinner with her dad and some of his clients. Since that's super boring, she's sure he'll let her got to the Rodowskys if she explains the situation. She tells K Ron to call the Rodowskys and tell them either she or Logan will be sitting. K Ron's not happy about it because when is she ever happy about not getting her way, but okays it. Once that's taken care of, she asks again, what should they do about Logan? Mary Anne points out that the meeting with him there was super embarrassing and maybe he doesn't even want to join. They say they should call him and all look to Mary Anne. She's like, fine, I'll do it but I'm gonna call him in private.

When she gets home, Mary Anne says she only has a small window to call Logan before her dad gets home. She calls him up and asks Mrs Bruno for Logan. She tells him that they just had a meeting and he says he's decided not to join the BSC. Mary Anne quietly panics wondering why he decided not to. She thinks about the good time they had at the Rodowskys and him telling her she had a pretty smile. Uh, Mary Anne? That part has nothing to do with joining the club. He didn't say, 'Your smile is so pretty it makes me forget all about being the only person with a penis in a room full of girls!' Your pretty smile didn't make the meeting any less embarrassing. She forgets all about that when he asks her to the Remember September dance. A dance for September.

Actual photo of my face after reading that

So, it's about a week into the school year and they're already having a dance. What kind of budget does this school have that they can waste their money on a dance a month and yet serve the nastiest food this side of 'Kitchen Nightmares'? Well, Mary Anne ain't bothered by the fact that SMS could have used that money for a tutor for Claudia that'll teach her to spell above a concussed Shetland pony's level and says of course she'll go. She's thrilled of course even though she doesn't know how to dance and has social anxiety but still wonders why Logan doesn't want to join the BSC.

Chapter 9!

Stacey has a sitting job for Charlotte and Char is super bouncy. Stacey says how different she is from when she first started sitting her and that skipping a grade was the best thing for her. She says she brought 'Tik Tok of Oz' in her kid kit and I think about how much I loved Tik Tok in 'Return to Oz'. I never know why it always ends up on 'Scariest Kids Movies' list because I was enamored with that movie as a kid. I think it's amazing. But I was allowed to watch legit horror films as a kid so I was a bit desensitized. Wheelers aren't as scary as an alien that can take anyone's shape and bite off your arms when you try to defibrillate them.

Once Dr J leaves, Charlotte looks through the kid kit and finds 'Happy Birthday to You' by Dr Seuss. Stacey reads it to her and Charlotte says she can't wait for her birthday. Stacey tells Char that Mary Anne will be turning 13 soon and Char says they should throw her a surprise party. Stacey actually remembers Mary Anne's one trait and says she doesn't think she'd like a surprise party. Charlotte suggests they throw a regular party then bring out a cake which is still putting her as the center of attention but Stacey's a dumb blonde and says that sounds like a good idea. We'll just have to wait and see how well this turns out, no?

Chapter 10!

Aw, yeah! Shopping time! This chapter is one of the reasons I love this book. The BSC is off to Bellair's to shop for Mary Anne's first outfit for a dance. Richard even gave her his store card to buy it. He also teared up because he's adorable. When they get to Bellair's everyone has a different opinion on where to go first and of course Stacey suggests they look at the underwear first. Lol! They're not even pretending Stacey's not a total slut! She's really set on it too. Like, 'We know you're gonna get finger blasted, Mary Anne. You might as well wear a lace thong and look hot while doing so'. Mary Anne tries on-'a green sweater dress that made me look like a mermaid, and a yellow sweater dress that made me look as big as a house. Then Claudia handed me a full white skirt with the words Paris, Rome, and London, and sketchy pink and blue pictures of the Eiffel Tower, the Tower Bridge, and other stuff scrawled all over it. She matched it up with a pink shirt and a baggy pink sweater'. And I'll admit, that's a damned cute outfit and I'd still wear it. They go to shoes and find some-'white slip-ons with pink and blue edging'. And of course she doesn't get new underwear because she's not a slut like Stacey.

The day of the dance, K Ron has been replaced by an alien replicant because she says they should cancel the BSC meeting to help Mary Anne prepare for the dance. Hell's bells! Later K Ron wouldn't even let Mary Anne go to the dance! After paying Janine to answer the phone (gee, sure is nice of Janine to do that for a bunch of brats who won't give her the time of day, ain't it?) they troop to Mary Anne's house and help her out like actual friends rather than stoning her for the sin of getting a haircut. Richard drives them all to SMS and Maureen will be picking them up at the end of the dance. Which ends at 9:30 which seems kinda late for a middle school dance. But what do I know? I don't write teenagers as wildly out of character as Ann.

And hey! We get a full paragraph of BSC outfits! 'Claudia was wearing short, tight-fitting black pants and a big white shirt that said BE-BOP all over it in between pictures of rock and roll dancers. She had fixed a floppy blue bow in her hair. Stacey was wearing a white T-shirt under a hot pink jumpsuit. Dawn and Kristy looked more casual. Dawn was wearing a green and white oversized sweater and stretchy green pants. Kristy was wearing a white turtleneck shirt under a pink sweater with jeans'. Hee hee! They're all so 1980s it hurts! I can still picture Claud's shirt perfectly. I'm pretty sure I saw it in the 80s.

Inside the school is a mob scene but Mary Anne spots Logan and goes after him. Logan gives her a smushed orange flower because he's a fool and nothing matches orange. Also according to Google, orange flowers are for grief. Mary Anne pins it to her sweater and it clashes because Logan didn't think to go with something safe like white. Mary Anne can't take time to appreciate the decorations because she's too busy worrying. Lucky for her, Logan doesn't want to dance right away so they drink punch and awkwardly try to keep a conversation going. Finally Logan asks her if she wants to dance and Mary Anne has to agree. At first Mary Anne tries some dance moves Stacey taught her then tries to imitate Logan which is pretty darn cute. He begins to fool around and when she follows his Rockette kick, her shoe goes flying off and nearly kills Mr Kingbridge. She goes to pick it up and some kids are laughing at her and that is super embarrassing. I probably would have died.

After Mary Anne gets her shoe she goes back to her traitor friends who are also laughing at her. She's like 'Fuck all y'all bitches' and peaces out to the bleachers. They leave her alone for a bit then Logan comes to comfort her. He says everyone's forgotten about her shoe so why doesn't she come dance some more? She doesn't want to so he sits with her through three more songs before asking again. She still doesn't want to but tells him to go ahead and dance. Logan dances with the other BSC members but keeps coming back to Mary Anne to check on her. By 9:30 he asks if she'll come down now and she laughs about it. He tells her he had a really good time and Mary Anne hopes there'll be other dance with him. Wait a week Mary Anne, I'm sure SMS will have a 'Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun!' dance.

Chapter 11!

Oh, God. A Thomas/Brewer sitting job. K Ron writes in the notebook that Karen wasn't scaring her siblings for a change so, they acknowledge that Karen is a little brat but they let her get away with it every time because...spunk? Oh, because when Karen's scaring them they're too frightened to fight. So what's worse? A kid fighting with their siblings which all kids do or a kid terrorizing their siblings which bullies do? I'm this close to writing a self-insert fanfiction where my proxy is like 'What the Hell? This kid is a brat! Sit down and shut up!' and then spend the rest of the sitting job playing with David M, Andrew and Emily while Karen sits in the corner. On fire.

Since Mary Anne is busy dating Logan, K Ron calls Dawn and asks her if she wants to stay the night. Mary Anne says Dawn is thrilled because she knows K Ron is jealous of her for stealing Mary Anne's love. Aww, this book has Louie in it. He's pretty worn out though and my heart breaks. I ignore the kiddie antics and focus on Dawn and K Ron talking about Mary Anne and Logan. K Ron is grossed out by the thought of them kissing and I relate to that. The sound of kissing is disgusting. She tells Dawn that she thinks Mary Anne is more serious about Logan than Claudia was about Trevor. She laments a bit about Mary Anne growing up faster than she is and Dawn says yeah, but they're still friends. K Ron insecure? Dawn comforting? Early books are weird. The chapter ends with them discussing the party and what to get Mary Anne and who to bring. Yawn.

Chapter 12!

Mary Anne has a day of phone calls and it's so weird to read about limiting your phone calls to ten minutes. First Logan calls Mary Anne to tell her they're gonna show 'Meatballs' and she should watch it. I check IMDB and it's not too raunchy but not exactly Disney. After they hang up, Stacey calls her asking if she's coming to the party and asked Logan to come. Mary Anne is like, no, not really and Stacey yells at her. She says she'll call them right now and hangs up. She makes her calls and get permission from her dad and Logan says he'll go with her. This chapter is boring.

Chapter 13!

The day of the party, Mary Anne stalls around her house before heading to Stacey's. When she gets there, she realizes she's the last one there and it makes her a little uncomfortable. Surely throwing her a surprise party is a good idea. In the McGill rec room, the boys and girls are separate with the boys doing boys things and the girls watching them. Logan comes up to her and they sit on a couch and talk. Mary Anne wonders if she's in love and no. No you aren't. You're 12. After they all have pizza, the lights go out. When they come back on, Stacey is carrying a cake that somehow doesn't put her in a coma. They all sing happy birthday to Mary Anne and she panics, running from the party and all the way home. I can't snark that. It sounds like Hell. Sorry if this chapter's short, it was pretty boring.

Chapter 14!

Mary Anne gets home and Richard asks her what she's doing home early. Mary Anne tells him the party was kinda a bust and broke up. Mary Anne goes to her room and throws herself on the bed to brood over what happened. She wonders how her friends could have done that to her. She thought they knew her better than that. I don't blame her any. They should have known that throwing her a surprise party was a bad idea. I was just talking to my bestie about how I'll probably be living with her by my next birthday and I only like small intimate birthdays. She was perfectly understanding about that because she knows how shy I am. So, this really is something her best friends should know. Their heart was in the right place but they done fucked up.

Mary Anne does think that they might think she overreacted but that they still should have known better. She thinks one of them will give her a call and opens her door a crack to be sure to hear the phone ring. Ten minutes pass and no one calls so she thinks maybe they'll come over. An hour later she hasn't heard from anyone and thinks that they're through with her. She thinks she ruined the party and everyone hates her now. Again, this is all very understandable. I'm sure we've all had moments where we thought 'Well, that's the end of it. My friends hate me and I'm gonna die alone.' And I do feel bad for her because she's not really at fault. She obviously has social anxiety and I relate to that. She decides since she no longer has any human friends, she'll ask her dad if she can have a cat.

The next morning Mary Anne goes downstairs where Richard is drinking coffee and reading some papers. Ooo! Don't tell Dawn he's doing something totally innocuous and not affecting anyone in anyway or she'll flip a shit and punish Mary Anne! She asks him about getting a cat and he's unsure about it. He asks what they'll do with it when they go on vacation and Mary Anne says maybe Mallory can feed him. And I dunno, I love that idea. I'd like to think Mal would get away from her horrible life for a few minutes and bond with a cat. “Good God, cat, you wouldn't believe the bullshit my family pulled today! First the triplets chipped one of my permanent teeth, then Margo walked too fast and puked in my rain boots, and then my mom made me re-shingle the roof!'

Richard thinks on it a moment then says, okay, they can get a cat. Mary Anne gives him a big hug and Richard earns even more of my love by insisting they get a shelter pet. Omg, I want to marry Richard! Which hey, ladies! We should play 'Marry, fuck, kill' with the 'brook dads. I'll go first-Marry-Richard, Kill-Patrick, Fuck...no one. Okay, so asexuals shouldn't play marry, fuck, kill. Anyhoo, Mary Anne is thrilled and goes to call Logan. When he answers he says he's surprised she's talking to him because he thought she was really pissed. Mary Anne clears up that she wasn't mad and he says they all should have known better. They make up and Mary Anne tells him about getting a cat. She asks if he wants to go with her to pick one out and he agrees. But first she and her dad go shopping for cat stuff. It just makes me think of the time I was just derping around in my room when my Gramma walks in and hands me a black kitten, just saying 'Here. I got this for you'. No time for pet supplies just kittened out of nowhere. That was Ickis. We got him stuff later of course.

And then eeeeeee! KITTENS! Mary Anne, Richard and Logan go to the animal shelter and ask to look at the kittens. They only have one litter of two red tabbies, a calico and a grey tabby. Mary Anne says she'd like the grey tabby and Logan asks her if she doesn't want to play with them a bit first. She says no, she always wanted a grey tabby to name Tigger which really doesn't make sense because Tigger is orange. Why not one of the red tabbies? This has bothered me for 30 years. They take Tigger home and he cries all the way because he's a baby and I love him. At home, Logan gives Mary Anne the present he'd gotten for her birthday and it's a sliver bracelet. He also got her a bracelet when he un-broke up with her, so he's not very creative. He also asks if she'd go to the Fifties Fling with him...another fucking dance.

Chapter 15!

After Logan goes home, Mary Anne calls Stacey to explain what happened. Stacey is understanding about it which really throws me off. I'm not used to the BSC not being unbelievable douche canoes. She also tells her about Tigger and Stacey suggests they have a special meeting the next day at Mary Anne's house to all meet him. So, on Sunday, the BSC comes over with her presents and a piece of her cake. They ate the cake? Well, I guess if they thought she'd never speak to any of them again it makes sense but it's still kinda bizarre.

Mary Anne opens her presents and she got some good stuff. Dawn got her a blue shirt to match her famous cities skirt, Stacey got her some socks that match the skirt, K Ron got her a music tape and Claudia made her some jewelry in pottery class. I look up pottery jewelry on etsy and don't see anything I'd personally wear. It does all look very 80s though so I'll give it a pass. Alan got her a wind up sparky dinosaur which is delightful and Austin Bently got her a pin in the shape of a cow which is also great. They eat the cake and I want to throw Dawn in an industrial mincer because she whines about wanting to brush her teeth. Here's a thought Dawn. If you're gonna bitch about eating cake, don't eat it in the first place. That fucking cake was wasted on your bony ass. Because you know her insufferable ass was making faces and groaning about 'Ew! This isn't dehydrated hamster bedding bricks with organic fish milk icing! Why am I eating this? I'm too special for white sugar! Did you notice? Did you notice how special I am?' I fucking hate Dawn.

At the club meeting Monday, they get swamped with calls and wonder what to do. They also get a call from one Mrs Morgan who has four boys and is never heard from again. And ho, shit! Guess who comes up with the idea to make Logan an associate member! Ah haha! Well, it ain't K Ron! It's Mary Anne! Who's the fucking idea machine now, bitch?! I'm gonna start pointing out all the times a BSC member besides K Ron gets an idea. And because K Ron is a pair of deformed rat testicles she only says that's 'not a bad idea'. Mary Anne calls up Logan and tells him about the idea. And really the only thing K Ron came up with was the name associate member. I'm fucking rollin' Logan agrees and says he knows a few other guys that might be interested in joining too which will never be mentioned again. And that's all! Man, this book is bizarre! I still like it though. So, next up for me will be 'Keep out, Claudia!' so we can see what Ann thinks racism is like. Because all white people are so good at writing that subject. As always thanks for reading!

Let's start with the cover:


Well, there's your problem, Claudia! That kid is clearly Fuckface McClownstick! Why does Hodges keep drawing kids as that fucker? Celeste looks much older than two. But she acts older than two so there might be some shenanigans there. She's also giving Claudia the 'Redrum' finger. Claudia is actually wearing the outfit in the book so some points for Hodges.


I had to include the UK cover because it's hilariously ugly. The UK covers always remind me of when a horror movie gets a poster from like Thailand or somewhere. Claudia looks as old as Mimi and, I'm guessing that's Celeste, is just begging for a roundhouse kick to the jaw. Also, I'm pretty sure Claudia's shirt is of Bizzy Bee from 'The Venture Brothers'.


Chapter 1!

Claudia is sitting for the Rodowskys and says Jackie is looking at her from under his 'fringe of red bangs'. Uh, does Jackie have an emo haircut? Well, if I got picked on as much as he does, I'd be a sad boy too. They're listening to Shea practice piani and Jackie says he's practicing 'a doggie-o'. Claudia doesn't know what that is even though she informs us Bach is 'awesome'. This is like when Jem met Mozart and Kimber thought he was outrageous. Yes, that happened.

Jackie, of course, knocks over the Lego rocket he and Archie are building and Claudia suggests he take Bo for a walk. Once Jackie is off probably walking into oncoming traffic, Archie tells Claudia he wants to do something that makes people clap for him and that's easy peasy, Archie-kins, just throw Karen off a cliff. Claudia gives us some exposition and a lovely example of her spelling with 'sikiatrist', 'choklit' and 'chezkak' My God...the red lines...'Chezkak' sounds like a cat hacking up a particularly troublesome hairball. It's cheesecake btw.

Claudia gives a dig about Janine's glasses and 'frumpy, dowdy clothes' because dressing like a tie dyed Juggalo in a side ponytail is so much more fashionable and mature. Jackie comes back in with Bo and Archie is still saying he wants to be a star. That's easy peasy, Archie-kins, just take Karen out to the desert and let her get eaten by a graboid. Claudia's rusty brain cogs start turning and she thinks maybe the club can come up with some kinda musical project for their clients. What? Is it Tuesday already?!

Chapter 2!

Just your usual chapter 2 infodump with the BSC talking over their new project and Mary Anne landing a job with some new clients the Lowells and something else...what was it? Oh, yeah...THE BIGGEST LIE IN ALL CHRISTENDOM! Get a load of this shit! 'If kids don’t agree with Dawn, she doesn’t care'.

Huh wha a fuh huh?! How did that get printed without the printing press catching fire?! How did Ann write that without catching fire?! Dawn doesn't care when other people disagree with her?! Dawn Read Schafer?! Dawn who rewrote a play to fit in her ideals?! Dawn who bullied Mary Anne into sharing a room then scared her out because she wanted the radio off?! Dawn who pouted about people not liking her enough to put her in charge of a recycling center?! Dawn who tortured her sister and best friend for getting a haircut?! Dawn who threw the universe's most epic little bitch fit because she didn't agree with her dad's decision to remarry?! That fucking Dawn?! I've been staring at this page for fifteen minutes trying to find the words but I'm afraid Ann totally fried my brain. I'm just- I don't know. I believe in a lot of crazy things but even I have my limits so, let's just move on.

Chapter 3!

Hoo boy! What was I doing? Oh, yeah...snarking...yeah. So, Mary Anne has a sitting job with the Lowells, Caitlin (8), Mackenzie (6), and Celeste (2). And I hope no one here is named Mackenzie because as an 80s baby that name is ruined for me because of this fucker right here:

It's also ruined for me because it's common with suburban wine moms. You know the kind I mean. The kind that Mrs Lowell obviously is. Wine mom introduces Mary Anne to the kids and to Hodges' credit, they're dressed exactly like they are on the cover. Mary Anne says they look like dolls and don't smile. Mrs Lowell leaves and Celeste cries a bit but Mary Anne cheers her up. She asks them what they want to do and they say they want to know about her family. She tells them about Tigger and the queen of the harpies and the rest of the BSC. When she tells them Mal is part of a litter they say she must be Catholic. I know that's supposed to be bigoted but I find it hilarious. Mainly because my family is non-practicing Catholics and everyone but me has a shit ton of brats. Like yeah, kid, we think condoms were sent by the Devil and it sucks.

They ask Mary Anne what religion she is and she totally blows it by saying Presbyterian instead of doing what I'd do, scream 'Satanism!' and throw them the horns. Again, I should really be writing fanfic. After asking her a million questions, she takes the kids outside to play till Celeste gets tired. Caitlin asks if they can watch 'Leave it to Beaver' because that's the only other show besides Lucy and the Bradys that exists in Stoneybrook. Mary Anne says okay and somehow K Ron doesn't come screeching out a manhole about 'No! That's the devil box! Put on a play instead!' The two olda kids settle down with the Satan Square and Mary Anne watches Celeste draw. She hears the other kids laughing and when she goes to check on them, they're watching something with two Asian kids riding bikes. And even though they giggle 'Look at their eyes!' Mary Anne doesn't get it. Really Mary Anne? Because it's pretty fucking obvious what they're laughing about. I get that Stoneybrook is a community of sheltered toddlers but I would think she'd realize what they're laughing about.

Chapter 4!

Claudia is sitting for the Newtons (I couldn't remember their name and kept thinking 'Jamie...Kennedy?) and she asks Jamie if he'd like to have Myriah and Gabbie over. He says yeah, so she calls Dawn who's sitting at the Perkins. When the girls come over, Stacey calls asking if she can bring Charlotte over and Mary Anne does the same about the Hobarts. After a while, all the kids are gathered in the Newtons yard and...zzzz. Sorry, this is incredibly boring. I'm gonna skim the kids setting up a band and only point out a few things. Like the fact that getting the kids together to form a band was Claudia's idea and not K Ron's. In fact they make good headway in getting everything taken care of without K Ron even there. Mm hmm! What ideas has K Ron come up with on her own? Bullying her friends? Nah, that's not an idea. That's just how she naturally acts. The only other thing to note is that Charlotte is taking guitar lessons but in 'Stacey vs the BSC' she took piano lessons. So, that's either a continuity mistake or she playing in this bullshit band made her give up guitar. Take your pick.

Chapter 5!

Claudia has her first sitting job at the Lowells and when wine mom answers the door she looks at Claudia like she's pissing herself and giggling about what a joy it is. She enters the house and Mrs Lowell looks everywhere but at her. Claudia remembers she was eating on the way over and she probably has an entire mallomar stuck in her teeth. She does a quick check but her teeth are clean. She then realizes she's dressed as her usual hot mess self and thinks that must be the problem. Mrs Lowell seems hesitant to leave but finally does once the olda kids return home.

Claudia gives them a snack of oreos and they don't listen to her when she says they've had enough. They run around screaming and wake up Celeste. Claudia goes to check on her but they stop her and say they need to talk to her first. She thinks that's a good idea and lets them. After a minute she goes into her room and asks Celeste if she wants a snack. The olda kids yell about wanting a snack too and when Claudia tells them they just had one, they say they'll tell their mom she's mean. And if you cut the racist shit, I wish kids told this to the BSC more often. Like when Dawn was bullying Jenny and kicked her out of her own sister's room. Something to let them no they're not happy with how they run things.

Claudia tries reverse psychology on them by saying the better eat all the oreos then and they're like 'Cool beans!' Before she can dig herself out of that hole, the phone rings. It's Mary Anne who's at the Hobarts and wants to know if she wants to bring the Lowells to band practice. The band practice section is blessedly short and soon Claudia has to take the Lowells home. They whine and cry and don't want to leave Mary Anne. When she gets them home, she engages them in a game of memory. But they keep leaving and sneaking grapes. She tells them to stop it and they're like 'Uh uh! You said no more oreos!' and she prays for wine mom to return.

Chapter 6!

At the next BSC meeting, Claud is offering around paydays and Stacey asks for chips and Dawn asks specifically for wheat germ crackers. Claudia asks her if 'unsalted, stone ground wheat crackers' are okay and you ever notice that more more adjectives you put in food, the more likely pricks like Dawn are to eat it? Like Claudia could have said 'wheat crackers' and Dawn would have been like ew! Not special enough! Like, they're fancy wheat thins, you fuck. Get a grip. And I will point out how fucking nice it is of Claudia to take Dawn's fucking picky ass diet into consideration when Dawn would never show her the same courtesy. Dawn has shown when she needs to cater, she only makes what she likes. And then she gets pissy when nobody likes it. I fucking hate Dawn.

Once everyone is settled, the phone rings and it's wine mom. She asks to speak to K Ron and everyone's wondering what's up with that, yo? K Ron takes the call and asks who's free next Wednesday. Mary Anne tells her only Jessi is and what was she talking with Mrs Lowell. She says that Mrs Lowell said she needed a sitter but it had to be anyone but Claudia. I'm really curious what Mrs Lowell said because K Ron did ask her why she didn't want Claudia. What excuse did she use? She asks Claudia if anything happened at the Lowells and Claudia said no, nothing bad. Jessi asks if one of the kids is a 'walking disaster' like Jackie and fuck you, Ramsey. Claudia also earns a fuck you by saying all the 'horrible' things that happen when sitting for Jackie like 'broken vases, grape juice on the carpet, skinned knees, banged heads'. That the Lowells are 'angels' compared to Jackie. Riddle me this, bitch. Has Jackie ever oh, broken your leg? No? Stop acting like Jackie is some kind of big problem when you've had a sitting job you needed to call 911 for. I swear Ann has never spent a moment with a normal kid.

I don't know why Ann has these bouts of making her characters as stupid as imaginable. Like, when Claudia says the Lowells reminded her of the Delaneys Mary Anne is like, 'Durr, they do kinda look alike.' Mary Anne you numb fuck, she means they're bratty. Omg. When Claudia explains how the Lowells misbehaved K Ron says she should have told her and Claudia says she wrote about it in the notebook. Ho-oly fuck! Now who's not reading the notebook, your royal bitchiness?! I'm fucking screaming! I sat through an entire song giggling maniacally because I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. I'm not on vodka soaked tampons like Ann.

'I'm brainstorming with Captain Morgan tonight!'-Ann

They try to figure out why Mrs Lowell doesn't want her to sit but can't think of anything. Claudia says she figured it out! It was her outfit! Mrs Lowell doesn't appreciate meth clown chic! And she was a little early. K Ron says that's not a reason to ask her not to sit anymore. They get more calls which distracts them from the problem. At the end of the meeting, Claudia points out uh, no one else said I couldn't sit for them. K Ron says maybe she'll call Mrs Lowell on her own but says she feels weird about it. What a great leader and president! She's so good at taking charge and handling club problems!

Chapter 7!

After the club meeting, Jessi goes home and decides to prepare for her job at the Lowells. She goes through her kid kit and takes out some things to put in some books she thinks Celeste would like. She adds some stuff for Mackenzie then for Caitlin she asks Becca what she likes to play with. Becca tells her she and Charlotte like playing office so Jessi puts together office supplies and thinks how she deserves an award for it. I wonder how big the kid kit is. Because they always pack puzzles and board games along with a lot of other stuff. How are they carrying them when they take a bike? In the comics they're pretty big. I've always been curious about this.

This next part just breaks my heart and I have a hard time reading it. Jessi arrives at the Lowells and when Mrs Lowell answers the door she looks horrified. Jessi asks if she came at the right time and Mrs Lowell says she suddenly doesn't need a sitter anymore and slams the door in Jessi's face. Jessi stands there a moment, feeling like crying but she can't pinpoint why. She doesn't feel like going home so, she walks to Mallory's house and by the time she gets there, she's crying. It doesn't give us a play by play of Mal comforting her and instead cuts to the BSC meeting. They try to figure out why Mrs Lowell acted like a bitch and Jessi says maybe she expected someone older. Again K Ron says maybe she should call her but she never does. Mary Anne says she has a job with them coming up and she'll see what she can find out.

Chapter 8!

Claudia is sitting at the Rodowskys and the boys are trying to to come up with a name for their band. After nixing the Beatles and Jackie Rodowsky's All Star Orchestra the come up with the saccharine name All the Children. One of the things that gets me is they say their band is made of kids of 'all colors'. Hmm, I see two colors. Becca and a lot of white. Your 'we're so multi-ethnic!' angle doesn't work so well when you can't write more than a single token, Ann. She further shits the pool by saying they're diverse because the Rodowskys are Polish, the Papadakis are Greek and the Hobarts are Australian. In other words:

That's the Papadakis at the end

The rest of the chapter is unremarkable so I'll just post the highlights.
-Archie-kins has better rhythm than me on tambourine. The rhythm parts on Rock Band are my bane.
-Somehow Shea and Charlotte are going to be playing on the same electric keyboard.
-Karen doesn't know how to talk in a normal voice and yells everything.
-They decide to make a banner with the band name on it but they want to make it out of felt which means they'd need a big ass piece of felt when cotton fabric would be more sensible.
-The kids think they should put on a concert for their families.
-The band mostly consists of oatmeal can drums, kazoos, a harmonica and two keyboard players.
-This band blows.

Chapter 9!

On Thursday, K Ron called Mary Anne and asked if she minds if she takes her job with the Lowells because she's curious about them. She says it's okay of course because why wouldn't she obey K Ron? When K Ron gets to the Lowells, Mrs Lowell gives her a once over but welcomes her in. After she tells her where she'll be, K Ron asks her if she's happy with the BSC. She says she is and she asks why she doesn't want Claudia to sit and she says it's because the kids like Mary Anne. When she asks about Jessi, Mrs Lowell just cuts her off and yells for her kids.

Wine mom leaves and the kids behave for K Ron. When she gives them a snack she talks to them some about the band and Mary Anne. She asks them if they liked Claudia and Caitlin says she was 'funny looking' which Claudia takes offense to because the BSC is always talking about pulling a Buffalo Bill and wearing her skin. K Ron brings up that Jessi was supposed to sit for them but didn't. The kids ask about her and when she mentions she's black they choke on their juice and say they guess their mom didn't like her. At least that's what K Ron thinks they said. But it sounded like that's why she didn't like her.

K Ron thinks this over all day and that night she asks her mom if they can have a talk. And wow, Elizabeth actually asks if it's 'girl talk' which may be the closest mention of menstruation in these books. K Ron says no, there's no puberty in the 'brook outside of growing boobs and says she wants Watson and Nannie to join their discussion. They all go to the living room and K Ron tells them her suspicions that the Lowells are racists. They pretty much confirm it but can't think of anything to do about it. Frankly I'd spray paint 'Go back to Europe!' on the hood of their car and take a shit in their mailbox.

Chapter 10!

Oh, God. I was dreading this chapter for the utter stupidity in it. At the next BSC meeting, K Ron beats around the bush about what she suspects of the Lowells. She finally gets around to it and Claudia is furious and Jessi is just resigned to it. They start talking about racism and Mary Anne utters the stupidest line in a book where Dawn 'doesn't care' when people disagree with her-'“This is scary,” she whispered. “I wonder if those skinheads could get me for anything. I think maybe some of my ancestors were Russian. I wonder if that’s a problem.”' Yes, Mary Anne. Those white supremacists are going to hate you for being white. I wish Jessi fucking kicked her in the throat for that.

Mary Anne's family history

They get a call from the Grand Wizard Lowell herself asking if she can have one of the Aryan sitters she's heard about. Whaaaat? H-how? How did she hear about them? Was she asking Mrs Newton about the BSC and like 'Gimme the chapter two on them all.' Did her kids see them at a band practice and say 'Say, mommy. Turns out the BSC has some almighty whiteys in it.' It's just bizarre. Both Stacey and Dawn say they wouldn't be caught dead at the Lowells and K Ron actually gets an idea. She calls Mrs Lowell back and says no one's available but Logan. Oh, what's that? Boys don't sit? Well, I might be able to sit if I'm not taking care of my very Vietnamese sister. What? Something suddenly came up? Okay, bye, scrote.

Everyone cheers K Ron and I will admit that wasn't half bad. K Ron says Mrs Lowell probably wouldn't like Stacey or Dawn either because their parents are divorced. And a line I always liked, Claudia says 'I'm telling! I'm telling Mrs Lowell!' I dunno what it is about it, but it makes me happy. Mary Anne says they all have something against them but her own 'fault' is pretty lame in that she has a stepsister. What about your Russian roots, Mary Anne? I'll never get over the stupidity of that. That night Claudia talks to her family about the Lowells and they say yeah, they're crusty assholes but the important thing is that you aren't. Since this post was a little heavy, have a funny gif.

R.I.P. in pieces

Chapter 11!

This chapter is a fucking bore. At a goddamn kids' band rehearsal, Jackie makes the announcement that instead of doing the music from Annie, they should do it from Fiddler on the Roof. Because Ann likes making the Ramsey family idiots, Becca asks what the Hell is Fiddler on the Roof. Actually, that makes me an idiot too because I would have asked the exact same question at eight. I would think it'd be a precious few that would know that musical well enough to make that their set. I'm 30 years older than these kids and all I know is 'If I Were a Rich Man' and I only know that because that pop singer who sampled it in a song I'm too lazy to look up. It makes no sense and is only there for *gasp!* drama! Of course, these are Stoneybrook kids Who were probably singing the whole of Jesus Christ: Super Star outta the womb. But I can't fault them wanting to do Fiddler as I have a weakness for a Jewish guy.

Come to my house and kill me, Danny boy

After that's agreed upon, who should show up but Mrs White Power USA and her brats? Claudia actually greets her with a hello when a heil would be more appropriate. I would have done it. Nothing pisses off racists more than telling them they're racists. I do feel bad for Claud being awkward around this shitty woman. I wish I could give her my 'fuck you' attitude to be boring holes of 'I would fucking kick you in the ovaries' in her face. Shit lady mutters hi then walks up to Dawn all, 'Are you a sitter because it looks like we have so much in common! Isn't ketchup spicy?! Do you use spf 453 when you go out?! Isn't having blue eyes because of mutation great?!'

She asks Dawn if she's in charge and this is probably the only time Dawn isn't the worst person in the conversation. Dawn says actually, Claudia's in charge. Fish belly has nothing to say to that and just comments on the 'assortment' of kids there. Dawn realizes she means...ethnicities? And again, this doesn't fucking work with all white children! There's not even any Jewish kids till Abby comes along! And unless one of them is running around in a yarmulke, who the fuck can tell?! She's not the fucking Terminator with special vision that tells all the kids' ancestry! And again!! They're all WHITE!! Just like I, a mild mannered, sex-repulsed asexual, should not write a book about hardcore fucking, Ann, a fucking white woman who writes nothing but white characters, should not be writing a book on racism! I'm fraught with the stupidity of it all!

Dawn tells her that they're going to be playing music from Fiddler and Mrs Mayo '92 shits a puppy right there and calls her kids to come here now, we're going home! The kids complain and she all but drags them away by their hair. I just realized what Mrs Lowell is. She's one of those boomer bitches that always asks to speak to the manager. The kind that votes for a pussy grabbing, POS POTUS. The kind that screams outside abortion clinics but wants to cut funding for children. The kind of woman who won't get her kid vaccinated but hits the tanning bed every weekend. The kinda bitch with an asshole so tight she can barely shit out a single grain of rice. Holy fuck! I managed to piss myself off! Aaaahhhh!

Okay, I made myself a Valium smoothie and feel better. When Herr Lowell leaves she gives Claudia a disgusted look and I wish Claud had drop-kicked her in the ass on the way out. Hmm...I just realized I have Sims...urge to kill rising. Anyhoo, the BSC gathers around Claudia and comforts her in an uncharacteristic show of compassion. K Ron was all ready to snatch Mrs Lowell bald for dissing Emily. Uh, if you want people who don't like Emily, look to your parents who adopted her on a whim and spend exactly zero time with her. They worry a bit that other parents won't be happy with them doing Fiddler but realize only non-BSC families are shitty. Yeah, that's how it always goes.

Chapter 12!

Hoo boy, I knew I was in trouble when I read Karen was involved in helping Claudia. We'll get to that in a minute. First I want to point out how really sheltered kids in the 'brook are by Claudia saying she never thought there was anything different about her. That people would treat her differently due to her race. 8 year old me cries at the thought of not being made fun of for my eyebrows or my arm hair in the middle of class. About strangers coming up to me asking '¿Cómo estás?' and not being able to answer because being Mexican was shameful so I was never taught Spanish. Why I'm still not able to let go of Euro-centric beauty standards and hate my skin, my eyes, my hair. I would have killed to think there was equality between me and my white friends till I was 13. And also I call bullshit on all that because the BSC is known to make a very big deal about the fact that Claudia is Japanese. They're constantly talking about how different she is. Just because it's positive doesn't make it any less racist.

Anyways, Claudia has a sitting job at the Brewer/Thomas mansion for all the kids because spending time with your children you only see every other weekend is for losers. I'm kidding of course. If I had Karen as a kid I'd move to Jupiter, so, I don't blame Watson any. Case in point, Karen says they need to practice their music and appoints herself All Glorious Leader without asking any of the other kids what they want to do. David M even points out the bullshittery of this but Karen says it was her idea that's why she gets to decide everything.

The kids start up their band and it's mostly percussion with a kazoo and a harmonica so you know it sucks. Karen stops and says so and then is like, we need uniforms! Which means an obligatory mention of movies from another decade. The only reason I know about The Music Man is because of the monorail episode of The Simpsons. Best episode ever bt-dubs. The kids think that's a good idea and Karen starts bossing them around again because she's 'full of ideas'. No wonder K Ron adores this little butt fart. They both talk over everyone and never let them speak so they think their ideas are flawless. I fucking hate Karen. And in another K Ron moment, her idea is complete shite because she just dresses like a reject from RuPaul's Drag U. Yeah, not Drag Race, Drag U. The boys are like 'Your idea is bad and you should feel bad'. And omg, do I fucking die when it's Nancy who comes up with the idea to all wear jeans and a red shirt. So, yeah, Ann basically wrote the same annoying taint stain twice and called them Kristy and Karen. She couldn't even think of a different letter to start their names with. This chapter is fucking stupid and it ends there. And no I don't know what Karen did to help Claudia.

Chapter 13!

The BSC is going over the fliers for the 'concert' and they had stupidly put Claudia in charge of making the fliers so they had to throw out a bunch because she's a facking moron. Seriously, she spelled 'band' 'bad'. I wonder what kinda fucking mush mouth Ann thinks Claudia is if she can't see that there's an n in band. Just like how she randomly add Rs into words that have zero r sound. Th rest of the chapter is a fucking snore. I wouldn't care about this shit if I knew these kids personally. The only thing I'll point out is Claire throws a epic fucking tantrum and the BSC just sits by. No Claire is 'impossible!' Claire is a 'brat!' Just 'let's see how this pans out'. This book is a bigger headache then I'd thought.

Chapter 14!

God, this book got boring fast. At a BSC meeting, K Ron wants to discuss what to do if Mrs Lowell calls them. Claudia says to do exactly what they should do and say they don't associate with bigots. K Ron says they can't do that and uh, why the fuck not? You're not supposed to tiptoe around the feelings of racists. You're supposed to punch 'em in the Goddamn jaw and make them cry like a little bitch. Claudia also says they can say they don't sit for blue eyed blondes and Dawn gets mad because she's the kinda fuck head who thinks reverse racism is real and Stacey backs her up because she's also a fuck. They come to no satisfying conclusion and just say they won't take any jobs with her till she gives up. They spout a bunch of hippie shit about hate the sin, love the sinner and I say fuck that noise. Sorry to break it to you Ann, but I fucking loathe racists. These people want me dead. They want my friends dead. They could all die in the most painful way possible and I'd fucking hold a ten year party. Fuck racists and fuck you Ann for acting like we have to tolerate them.

Chapter 15!

I literally don't give two shits about this bullshit kids' band so, I'm cutting to the end. The band does well and we'll never hear about it again like so many other things that were going to be a monthly thing. That was fucking boring so I'll leave you a clip from my favorite musical: Jeepers Creepers: Semi-Star.

Next up for me will be Stacey's Choice for no other reason than I liked her outfit and the shopping trip. Stay lovely! Thanks for reading!